Yes I AM Starseed...Now What?!

After I made the discovery that I was not crazy, and that I AM in fact, not all that familiar with the mechanics of life on earth, I was mad. I spent YEARS being mad. All I heard in spiritual circles was that we starseeds, lightworkers, had volunteered to come be here on earth at this time to help Gaia ascend into a higher dimension, and humanity, or at least some of them, as well.

There was no way that I accepted that I had raised my hand and volunteered to come here to this place of such polarity. What I perceived as just plain meaness was so hard to accept to my other world nature of joy, laughter, and love. I knew, and still feel, that I was requested to come here, and that I had somehow made a deal that if I agreed to come here, I would be reunited with others from my soul group. Which I have.

In the meantime, I landed in a job unexpectedly in an insurance agency. All around me, my friends who were also lightworkers, were not working full time jobs in a conservative corporate job. They were doing fun things like teaching workshops and doing Reiki full time. What was wrong with me? Why was I working in an industry that had the reputation of darkness perhaps only outdone by the banking industry? I wanted to do fun things.

My life was not working. I constantly had trouble paying bills, my children had struggles that resulted in alot of turmoil in our home life.

I attended an open house where they pulled some Mayan cards according to your birthday. I do not recall now what my tribe was, however, I do remember what the woman said. I just did not know exactly what she meant. She confirmed that I had tremendous gifts when not on the earth plane, and that if I would just anchor that same energy into my physical body, my struggles would disappear. I asked her how does one do that? She just smiled and said when I did it, I would know.

My job at the insurance agency had changed, and I was asked to do something that made me miserable, essentially pushing paper. I am a people person. I need interaction with people, not copiers and fax machines. I tried it for about 6 months, and then complained to the department head. I told him I would do anything else, that I did want to stay at the agency, but that I was miserable. He said he would work on it. In January, I was moved to a different department, with a different supervisor, and my life has gotten so much better. What happened? It was all about surrender. AH! In the surrender of my anger over why I was working there, and the subseqent acceptance, I had thrown open a brand new door that I never even knew existed! I dropped the frustration over working in a "dark" industry and realized that was exactly why I was there, to bring in Light!

I am fortunate that I have my own office rather than a cubicle, and it faces east, so I get the cheerful morning sun. I have found a way to bring Light into that office, by bringing in lots of plants, a table fountain, and lots of crystals. Yes, the office is conservative, and nobody there knows I used to be a gatekeeper on Arcturus, they just think I like and collect rocks. I also have lots of pictures of angels on my walls. Everyone loves to come into my office, because the energy in there is so relaxing. I have provided an office for people to come and get recharged in. I also have learned a a new skill, ergonomics, have received a certification, and I am now able to leave the office and call on clients, and not be chained to a desk. My new supervisor fits my likes and interests to the job, and created a niche for me that I just love. I truly feel that if I had never released my anger over working there, and even being here on earth, none of these opportunities would have presented themselves.

Most starseeds, upon realizing that there IS such a thing and they are not crazy, feel very isolated and lonely. Some, like me, after moving through that isolation by realizing that "Home is in the Heart" get angry at being here. This is something you have to move through. Do not avoid it. Do not pretend it is not there. You can spend as much time in anger as you want, but it will not help you anchor your gifts from home here on earth. Your anger blocks that. In the surrender and acceptance that you ARE here NOW, and for a reason, you will experience big changes in your life. All you have to do is figure out how to anchor your gifts in your physical body!!!! Piece of cake!!

Cathy Cartisano 10/22/06